Brie: It's What's For Breakfast

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Bitch Session

I’ve got a case of the grumps.

I haven’t blogged properly in over a week. I just haven’t felt pithy and funny. The fiction I’ve written in the past two weeks sucks to high heaven. I can’t even get excited about politics.

My reviews disappeared from my 360 page and Yahoo won’t do anything to put them back. I like writing reviews. I like reading reviews. I actually make friends because of the reviews I read and write. I want my reviews back, dammit. If Yahoo is going to give me something for free it ought to freaking WORK right. How dare they ignore my demands for satisfaction? Do they think I can’t take my business elsewhere? Right. Like I’d leave 360 now. They have me and they know it, so they take away my freaking reviews. Yahoo is like the phone company, apparently. They don’t care; they don’t have to. Rat bastards. I want my free service! ALL of it!

One of my best friends has decided to go all depressed and suicidal for the second time in four months. If it weren’t for the fact that depression is a killer, I’d be rolling my eyes. I have another friend – actually the mother of one of Jack’s friends – who actually tried twice to suicide last fall, and I ended up with half her kids while she lay in a coma. I really get irritated with people who think suicide is a solution. It is so messy and hurts so many people. Selfish suicidal bastards.

It’s raining. Weather changes always give me migraines, and the weather in the last ten days has gone from snowy and 23 degrees to gorgeously sunny and 78. Fucking weather. Who’s responsible? I’m gonna sue. Now I’ve heard tornadoes are a possibility. Fucking weather.

My head hurts. I can’t take any more Imitrex this week because of the rebound headaches. I hate taking narcotics. There’s something about addiction that is oh-so unappealing to me. I go to bed with an ice pack and my two cats and I lose days at a time. This is no fucking life. I’m not contemplating suicide. I’m selfish, but not that selfish. Yet. I’m just whiny.

One of my orchids won’t bloom. Last year it was given to me for Valentine’s Day by the person my favorite only child now refers to as “The Jackass.” I fed it. I watered it. I repotted it. Not even a hint of a bloom. In a fit of pique this week I bought myself a new orchid in full bloom, thinking the old orchid would get jealous and decide to perform. But, no. It’s just sitting there, passive and still. Lazy-ass old orchid cost me money. Piss me off.

My passport picture makes me look fat. Ok, so maybe I AM fat, but it doesn’t have to be so in-my-face about it. I just got a new passport because I’m taking Jack to England over spring break and I never got around to changing my name on the passport after my divorce. Last year I went to China under an assumed name. It’s a wonder I wasn’t accused of being a terrorist. Now that I’m back to my real name and have gotten completely rid of the assumed name, I feel better. But the fucking PICTURE sucks. I call a do-over. What? No mulligans on passports? Shit.

My laptop is in the shop. The power cord connection came detached from the motherboard. I have a Sony Vaio – one of the tiny 11-inch ones that I keep by my bed because it’s light and easy to hold on my lap. I love my little Vaio. Fucking power connection. Now I have to get a new motherboard. Does anyone know if that changes the entire identity of the computer? I think my messenger archive is going to be lost, and before the battery died I didn’t have time to copy it all. I don’t want it to be lost. There are fantastic messenger conversations just waiting to be made into blogs and if they’re lost then I’ll be majorly bummed out. Not to mention that I just bought the damn laptop in August and already there’s this problem. At least it’s covered by the warranty.

BUT… I did something crafty and diabolical. Heh heh. They said it would be 2 weeks before my laptop would be ready. So I found another laptop on sale, a discontinued model still sporting Windows XP so I don’t have to up and learn Vista before the kinks are worked out of it. There’s a restocking fee of 10%, but that’s reasonable rent for two weeks, considering. I can’t be without my laptop. It is my lifeline. I’m addicted. So I bought it, installed Messenger on it (like I can live without Messenger!), and have not removed a single sticker or registered a single bit of software on it. It now sits next to my bed just like the Vaio did, and will for the next two weeks. Then I’ll return it. Two weeks to repair? Diabolical. I can be diabolical, too. So there. Sometimes I really amuse myself.

I keep finding things I lost in the divorce that I need. My roasting rack. My wok. Kitchen gadgets I don’t remember to replace when I’m out and about. I’ve gone for a year and a half without them now. Annoying. Heading to Amazon to put them on my wish list….

Please add your gripes to the comments. This is an official bitch, carp, moan, and whine session, brought to you by the pen of Aramink. I don’t want solutions. I just want to bitch. Salud!

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February 24, 2007 - Posted by | Humor

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